Recently, while trying to chill out from a particularly stressful work day, I was just talking talking talking to Tall Dark & Handsome aka Travel Gigolo. A stream of consciousness. My way of unwinding, I guess. He listened patiently. I spoke mostly about our recent trip, and how we always came back from the epic 3 week road trips with the same “symptoms”.
I asked him finally if he thought we’d left small parts of ourselves all along our journey, and a large chunk of it in the Makgadikgadi Salt Pans (those were a few interesting days!). I asked him this because we both individually keep having recurring dreams about the pans. I voiced my thought that maybe it wasn’t too far-fetched to think there could be a scientific explanation – that energy particles from us lingered in places we travelled, not wanting to leave, and took a while to catch back up with us physically, where we were already back home. I hoped this would explain why every year, after our epic overland trip, I come back and I feel kinda “missing in action” so to speak. Like I’m not all here yet. And it takes me a few weeks, almost a month, to really get back into the swing of “regular life”.
Maybe Wanderlust is not us seeking new places and adventures, but actually us trying to find our missing energy particles. Those bits we were separated from when our body moved on from a place we found to be magical, but where our spirit decided to linger longer.
So in this vein, I have this epic to-do list of what needs to get done, what work and projects must be tackled. And every day, my bullet journal dots get the > instead of the x. For those not familiar with the bullet journal thing, that’s postponing the item to another time or the next day rather than being able to mark it off as completed.
Social media is all abuzz with the “new year, new me” thing in the first week of January. What I realised is it’s a new year, yes, but the same me. All good intentions and efforts and internal conflict as I struggle to tick even one thing off my list, before I finally remember that this happens every year, that bits of me haven’t gotten back to me yet and are out there still living in the road trip. I finally let go and remember that it’s totally okay and basically, “new year, new me” starts in February. Come February, I’m awesome. And I live up to my coffee mug that says “Lara Gets Shit Done”. But only from February onward.